i've decided to move the entry i did today to my new blog site cos it seems very lonely over there... lol. haha.

yup, this is to convenience load of people who have feedbacked to me that they want to post comments but couldn't due to the previous site i was using. so here we go... :) God always provides a way.

yes. my new blog website: http://-princ-es-s-.blogspot.com/  

toodles.

i just realised how little time i have to study for the promos... and guess what, i have geog tutorial questions to prepare, gp mind map to do, econs to revise (which i desperately need to) and math tutorials which are overdue... like how crappy is that? PLUS, i have awful PW which is disgusting. eeeewwww.... BUT, praise God, cos i know that He will see me through all this tough trials and challenges. yay.

everyone is going to pon school tomorrow due to OCS outing... like... argh. i want to pon school too... but its against my moral values, and more importantly, my parents' that i should be skipping school for no rhyme or reason. UNLESS... i fall sick tonight, which i have been secretly hoping that i would... just that i would probably not happen. yikes. the only reason why i'm so hyped about going to school tomorrow is cos i'll be able to meet my cousin who is going to be one of the tour guides at OCS... and i haven't seen him in eyons. yes, that is the sole motivation of my going to school tomorrow in the first place. other than that, i'm all for ponning school.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO MY REVISION?!?!?!? i seriously don't know... as it is, i have too much homework for me to handle already. i seriously doubt i'd be able to sleep anyway tonight... there goes my precious bedtime...

argh... samuel... why haven't u sent the pw stuff yet... aiyo... speaking of samuel, he's one amazing guy. he's the loony kabana (spelling?) boy who is so gentlemanly (or lack thereof) . but he never fails to amuse me with the speed at which he can stuff his plate of tosai down his throat and into the 'bottomless pit', so we call it. haha.

oh well... i think its time i get down to my homework and take my bath. tomorrow is going to be yet another challenge, but i know that i can trust in Him to make my day meaningful.  

toodles.

today was a challenging day again... up till now i still have my gp essay which i have not done... and my geog tutorial which i haven't done either. i dunno why i'm like that... esther ang... u failure... u idiot. WHY ARE U LIKE THAT? where has all your motivation gone to? down the drain? yes... maybe... perhaps. God... please help me... i'm really lost... i really dunno what to do now... my life is in a mess... everything has gone wrong.

i didn't bring my bible to school today tho i promised myself that i would. i forgot... and i felt so lost in school today... like a small girl lost in a big jungle... Lord... help me... i can hardly take any of this anymore... i really dunno what to do...

ahhhhh... why is it so hard to be esther ang? argh. WHY? i don't know... sometimes, i just wish God would take me home... i'm very very tired of this life already... yes, and i'm maybe only 17+? i sound mad...

today it rained while i was going back home from school. i didn't want my good friend to worry or follow me to the station so i told her to go back, then i walked to the MRT station... quite scary... like lightning and thunder everywhere... i know God was there with me tho... then i got into the MRT and it was cramped like mad, so i got in on one side and then i couldn't get to the other side of the train when i reached Dover station... so i alighted at Clementi and walked home... and guess what... the clouds started to pee while i was talking my lil walk back, so i got wet. it wasn't as heavy as i expected it to be... but ya... enough to make me wet.

yup. sigh... i still have to do my geog tutorial and gp essay... argh. i don't think i can go to school tomorrow... i feel sick... and giddy...

i'm really glad that i have God... cos... without Him... i don't think i have anyone else. everyone else has their own lives to live and their own things to do and i don't want to cause them to be tired or burdened. sometimes, its really hard to deal with this 'loneliness' but i guess, life just doesn't exactly go the way u want it to go... and maybe its because i have to deal with this being alone that God can really be real in my life even more... oh... i can't wait for this phrase of my life to be over!!!! AWAY WITH U... JC LIFE...

toodles. need to start on gp.

i just read someone really special's blog. she really enlightened me. i don't think she'll ever know i read her blog. i think its part of God's will tho. yay. thank u that special someone. u really made me realise a lot of things. thank u so so much.  muaks.

toodles.

24 days to promos... argh... this is like madness... i haven't really done much except for econs today... and math the past week... but that doesn't really count. argh. i've been such a slacker... grr...

God has been really good to me these past week. its been really tiring... and i just realised how hard it is to be Esther Ang. its really difficult. and i realise that i can't do a lot of things, and can only leave it to God to help me to do it. many things has happened... the big fat failure that i am... realising that i did what i told myself that i wouldn't do... everything. and when i find that oh my goodness, life is so bizarre and crazy and i'm near dying of exhaustion, He's there all ready to catch me with His loving arms. but ya. quiet time has been extremely fulfilling this past week and i must say i'm enjoying every moment of it. i actually wish that i can just stay in His presence 24/7 just meditating on His word all my life and not study for promos or stuff like that.

1 Corinthians 10:11-13

'These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfilment of the ages has come. So, if you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.'

yup. i really want to lean on Him more and more each day because i find that He is my only source of comfort. its like... when everything around u is so intangible, so temporal, so material, and when u realise how God and His Perfect Love transcends time and really reaches into the depths of your heart so that in everything u will be able to rejoice in Him, that feeling is AWESOME. and i don't intend to let it go away at all. i really feel liberated and free in Him. and i want to put His word to action, but i just realised how difficult it is to be living God's word and not merely knowing God's will. its so hard. but i know He will see me through it!!! i'm confident of it. yah!

a lot of things have happened... F5... we have to remain strong k? we made so many promises to each other... our dreams... our hopes... our future... and i want to be able to fulfill everything that i've commited with you guys! HANG IN THERE BABES!!!! we will make it thru all this. especially honyi... i've missed u probably the most... everytime i see u, i have so much to tell u, but i just can't seem to say anything. life has been challenging, for u, for me, for E, Nat and Bea. but nonetheless, we have to put our trust in God and with each other yeah? i'm so sorry i can't go for today's MAS... i wanted to very badly... but i haven't been very well... that's a pathetic excuse i know... i'm really sorry. i want to see u do your dance... or rather try to do your dance... lol. ya. and i know that its been really hard for u, being the only one in HC.. sigh. miss u a lot...

i guess i've never really understood the meaning of 'the test of time' until now... this test ain't easy. its actually the most difficult of them all. but then again, in God everything is timeless, so i don't have to worry a thing.

Psalm 26:2

'Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and mind; for your love is ever before me, and i walk continuously in your truth.'

Ecclesiastes 3:1-14

'There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather time,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy an do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil- this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so men will revere him.'

Amen to that... haha. whoar... i'm feeling so good... yay.

all rightio. time to do work again... lol.

toodles.